Corrections for Bob

I couldn't get your blog to let me post comments, and there were a lot, so I put them here.

First, you have not
1. retold the Christmas story in your own words.
2. written a fifty word essay on a topic of your choice.
3. written a story about a basketball game.


Letter to friend
Dear friend,Its been so long since I've seen you. How are things down there? I hope you are doing well. It has become cold up here and is supposed to get colder. We're about to do our Christmas play this weekend. Its pretty cool. We got the stage setup and everything. We're ready to perform. Well, I am at least.

You forgot to finish your letter. And the beginning could use some spaces and apostrophes.


My fave Christmas present.
My favorite Christmas present would have to be music. Or anything to do with music. I don't think i really have an overall favorite. maybe the mp3's we got last year. Those were pretty cool. They're a little bigger than a quarter, with one gig of memory. They're black.

Always capitalize "I".


The cold
I love the cold. It brings that awesome smell and the clouds and look of everything. Winter is Definitely the best time of year. The snow! It hasn't snowed yet but hopefully it will. We're starting to set up for Christmas. We pulled all the stuff down from the attic the other day. Now all we have to do is get it sorted and set up. =]

I am assuming this is your descriptive essay? First, you are writing about "the cold", but, you don't really describe it, and then, somewhere in the middle of the essay, the topic changes to setting up for Christmas. Please fix this. Second, "Definitely" should not be capitalized.


Christmas play
We've been practicing for the Christmas play all week. Its coming along pretty good. We've almost got everything down. My sister plays a Goth. Its very interesting. She's got all kinds of goth clothes and makeup ready. We perform Saturday and two times Sunday. Should be interesting.

"pretty good" is incorrect. This word should be an adverb, not an adjective. Also "goth" should be capitalized in both places or not at all. You need to consult a thesaurus for the word "interesting". Finally, there is a sentence fragment lurking here. Can you find it?

How to make a bed...
First make sure you're not in it. Then make sure your sheets are nicely tucked in. Once this is so, put your pillow on the bed. After that lay the blanket Nicely and neatly over the pillow and the bed. Then add any extra pillows or bed decorations you would like.

"Nicely" should not be capitalized.

about me
I prefer to watch people rather than interact with them. I like to sit back and figure out what the people in the room are doing and why. What the the motives are for what they're doing. Not to say that i hate talking to people. In fact i don't really mind talking to people all that much but my hobby or past time i guess, is to be a people watcher. Why? I don't know. I find it fascinating.

First, you need four more paragraphs. Second, always capitalize "I". Third, "past time" is actually "pass time" And finally, there is a sentence fragment lurking in there. Can you find it? Please fix it.


My fav holiday
I'm not really sure which holiday is my favorite. I like 'em all. Though i think its probably Christmas like everyone else. Why? Well who doesn't enjoy getting gifts? But i also like it because of the cold weather, snow, and the smell the comes with winter and Christmas. The Nice warm houses late at night. Candles with smells that relax you and put you to sleep. Its a wonderful time of year.

"Them" is misspelled. "I" should always be capitalized. You need a comma after "Well". "the comes" should be "that comes". "Nice" should not be capitalized. And you need another paragraph. Otherwise, good job!